


don’t forget to fall down

by for_thine_is



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Parker Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Irondad, OOC Tony because he’s being emotionally vulnerable lmao, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Well - Freeform, but Peter’s finally starting to process that, he’s been dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22658536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/for_thine_is/pseuds/for_thine_is
Summary: High above the city, Peter likes to pretend his grief won’t reach him. Maybe it’s time to stop hiding from it.OrTony actually gives solid advice, and Peter actually takes it.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 41





	don’t forget to fall down

Amber eyes searched the faded skyline for nothing in particular. 

Peter kicked his legs over the steel rebar, thumping his heels back against the corroded metal. Personally, he felt that the Queensborough Bridge was underrated. It wasn’t as famous or flashy as the Manhattan and Brooklyn, but the citizens of Queens depended on it every day to get from point A to point B. 

He could admit his bias, though. 

Peter pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, feeling the sting of tears combating the tired dryness. Today sucked. 

He hated this feeling. Peter woke up this morning knowing how sucky the day was going to be. He walked into the kitchen to see Aunt May plastering on a smile and asking if he wanted Frosted Flakes or Cheerios. So that’s how it was gonna be, huh? He could play the avoidance game. He was the reigning champion. 

He really wasn’t sure what made the city so enchanting in unholy hours. Sitting up here, the arguments and thrumming music and bullet casings clinking against cement were muffled, like the blanket of three AM haze granted his ears a few moments of respite. 

The one sound that no man nor god could silence prevailed, and Peter didn’t need to look up to know exactly what that familiar thrum meant. It was a combination of high pitched whirs and deep oscillating tones that Pavloved the tense muscles in his shoulders into uncoiling, if only slightly. 

“Having a nice pre-dawn sulk? What brings you out here on this fine smoggy morning?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“War trauma, for starters. Then I received a friendly reminder that somebody’s suit never made it back to its registered home. Your turn,” Tony quipped with fake cheerfulness. “Seriously, kid. Don’t you have school in, like, three hours?” 

Peter sighed, moving his hands from his eyes to his chin. “Four.”

“Pardon me, then. You know you’re not getting off the hook this easy.” 

“Not even if I look really, really sad? Puppy eyes and all?”

Tony chuckled. “Not this time. Pensive thought two hundred feet in the air needs to be shared. Out with it, then.”

For a moment, anger flashed in Peter, a flicker of indignant obstinance, knowledge that he owed Tony nothing, least of all an explanation. It was gone as soon as it came, replaced with the resigned knowledge that Mr. Stark only wanted to help, that he was really trying to connect with Peter on a more personal level, make an effort. He sighed. 

“Last week was my two-year anniversary of Spiderfication.”

Tony nodded slightly but, as Peter suspected he would, waited for the rest. 

“And today… Today is two years that Ben’s been gone.” If his hearing wasn’t so freakish he wouldn’t have heard the minute intake of breath from beside him. No going back now. 

“One year wasn’t so bad. I was actually in Germany, with you, May was working a twelve hour shift. I barely had time to think about it. Now… I dunno. It feels different. I used to just be able to put it off and push it back, go to band practice or Acadec, put on the suit. Everything’s all calm, and weird, and I actually have to think about this shit now.” 

Peter heard a scoff at that last bit. 

“No kidding.” He turned his head. 

“Not to make everything about me, though I’m very good at that,” Mr. Stark continued, “But I get that. When grief is eating away at you, all that super fun repressed emotion doing its thing, the easiest way to cope is distraction.”

“I was the king of distraction. There’s an art to it, I think. Or maybe it was just the booze talking. I bottled it up so tightly, I cut that fuse so short that when something finally sparked it, I nearly burnt everything I’d worked towards to the ground.” 

Peter nodded, catching the Accords reference in there, recalling his incomplete knowledge of what transpired between Mr. Stark and Mr. Barnes. 

“By the time I got around to really processing, trying to work through it, I had no idea where to even start.”

“So, where did you start?”

Tony thought for a moment. “Well, first of all, don’t let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. Including me. Especially me. Grieving is… the most personal thing I can think of. There’s no right way to go about it, just a shitload of wrong ones.”

“That being said, something that worked for me was counting my blessings. Sounds cheesy and Hallmarky, I know, but there’s something really reassuring about being able to look around me and put hands on what I do still have, in spite of what I lost.” 

That made sense to Peter. He often thought about how grateful he was to still have May, and Ned, and MJ, Mr. Stark. “I understand that. I think I do that, to an extent.”

“Then you’re already literally decades ahead of me. No surprise there, you probably have more emotional intelligence in one web shooter than I’ll ever see.” Peter huffed a laugh and Tony smiled. “Seriously, kiddo. I’m constantly blown away by how mature and responsible you are for your age, but, the most important thing I learned? Ask for help.” 

Peter blinked, surprised to notice wetness gathering at the corners of his eyes again. 

“It doesn’t have to be anything in particular. Sometimes it can just be talking about it with another person. But trying to shoulder it all alone will lead you down a dangerous road.” 

Naturally, Peter balked at the thought of having to open up that box of repressed emotional trauma he kept kicked under his bed, but maybe… Maybe it wasn’t just him. May was just as bad as he was, if not worse. He hated to think that he was making her be strong for him, hated to know that she was struggling too. It could probably help both of them, at least start them towards something like recovery. 

“Whatcha thinkin’, Webs?”

“I’m thinking you’re probably right.”

Tony’s eyebrow raised. “Once more for the cheap seats, please?” 

“As if you’ve ever sat in a cheap seat in your life.” 

The abrupt laugh from beside him was even more comforting than the sleepy silence Peter had set out to find. Go figure. “Fair and honest. If you’re not gonna try to catch some shuteye, you wanna head back to the tower with me and work on that new web shooter?”

With a small smile, Peter shook his head. “I think I’m headed back to Queens. Might take some of your advice.”

“Ladies and gents, it’s a day for the record books.” 

“Very funny,” Peter called, but he had already leapt into a swing. “See you tonight, Mr. Stark!”

“See you ‘round, kid.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is from Northern Downpour. I don’t even like that song, it just gets me in my repressed emotions. Peter too, apparently. Sincere thank you to Snarkymuch for actually encouraging me to finish this and post it before I could weenie out. Come yell at me on tumblr @for-thine-is


End file.
